What's Wrong With This House? Series: The Marble Island

Christmas 2018

My heart was in a good place when I requested my husband to include a marble island in our tiny kitchen, to which he readily obliged. We were a young couple brimming with our hopes and dreams as we started building our first home. To my mind, it wouldn't hurt if we used the few pieces of immaculate white marble tiles that was left with my side of the family after enduring a business bankruptcy just years before I got married. I wanted it to serve as a reminder of the Lord's faithfulness and lovingkindness for the next generation to see. How He gently ushered my family of origin into a life of full dependency on Him in the 90's－ minus the earthly possessions that my parents invested into through years of honest and gainful hard-work. It will be a reminder of how the Lord saw us through during the humbling times of letting go by way of Eviction. Back when Eviction, spelled with a big "E", was not yet glamorized in the entertainment industry such as the reality shows on TV that we have now. 

Having said that, it only goes to show how important it was for me to see those remaining marble pieces installed on our kitchen island even when around this time, it was not the trend any longer. Wala na sa uso. Marble manufacturing became obsolete as quarrying in Mindoro was banned by the government. Marble tile installers were so hard to find.

Back to the celebrated marble island. As I considered its potential and possibility for gathering our loved ones, close family members, and friends, I envisioned a little nook where I served tea and coffee while random bursts of our laughters filled the air. After-all, isn't it the point of hospitality? To provide a platform to connect as we are created by God for relationships and thrive in it. To provide a safe place for your people to convene and express themselves freely. To be heard. To recharge. To know and to be known. To bless others and in return, be blessed. Then you repeat because memories are made by repetition. The marble island will be placed within my arm's reach from the kitchen counter-top, what would be more proper and convenient for a hostess wannabe? Picture Nigella or Ina here.

With 49 square-meters of open-concept living space, this was not bad for a young family of three. But not until one more additional, a baby boy at that, came into the picture shortly after we moved here. My expectation of a cozy marble island was slowly altered by the reality of an ugly-looking immaculate white marble table sticking out of our now cramped kitchen space. It was an eye-sore, to say the least. With the baby walker and  the baby high-chair, the pre-schoolers' books and counting manipulatives, our dirty dishes to wash, our clean laundry to be folded and pressed, ALL these concerns competed for my attention in the already cramped space for the life of me.

Tea and coffee were not served as we have not invited family and friends to come over. This season lasted a few years while we figured out how to feed and nurture our growing family, how to home-educate our two young ones, and how to stay collected. While these transpired, we enjoyed the safety and comfort of living a semi-incognito way of life. Because there was a need, our marble island was eventually converted into a multi-purpose homeschool desk, a meals prep table for chopping veggies, a quick breakfast nook by day; a monkey bar and a fortress for our army of two by night. Got the picture?

Form follows function is a very valuable principle that we learned alongside adaptability as we made this kitchen element work for us in an unorthodox way. This has helped us to frame our perspective as we tackled the many "wrongs" we discovered along the way; as new homeowners, we realized that it came with the territory; we worked around these rough edges; we learned to embrace what we have, the good and the bad and be at peace with them. The scripture from Romans 8:28 delighted us as we were constantly reminded: "And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose." Hence, we birthed This Rugged-Joyfull Home. Incognito no more! 

We have since built an additional 60 square-meter kitchen space next to our original 49 square-meter living space. This was to become the heart of our home that is big enough for everyone to fill; our response with a vengeance to our cramped kitchen layout from the start; our response to a wrongfully and/or rightfully constructed marble island in our first kitchen, which of course would depend on how you would look at it. It's still there, looking sturdy and proud.

As our people have grown, we have grown, too. We're loving how our first home ages through the years; it's looking older than its actual age; full of character, full of objects thrifted and bought brand new. My kitchen hutches are fully-stocked with tea and coffee, sugar and cream, cinnamon sticks, if you please. The large farmhouse table complements the look of our velvet white walls; the distressed chopping table whose legs I personally designed a lifetime ago has always served its purpose, inviting everyone to come to the table and dine with me.

As I figure out where to place my last period for this post, I casually told my daughter that I'm about to publish the second blog on my series, What's Wrong With This House?: The Marble Island. Without a blink, but with her eye-brows creased, she asked, WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT? I rest my case. Period.

What's Wrong With This House? Series: The Plumbing System

Welcome to our humble farmhouse-ish home. What is a farmhouse-ish home? Let me just borrow this quirky definition I found on a sign that I bought from Amazon. 

Farmhouse-ish - a rustic dwelling located on a farm (minus the animals, barn, and actual farm). 

But to be really honest with you, this is my most justifiable excuse to camouflage all of the mistakes which we have done in constructing our first-ever home some 17 years ago. What could go wrong with a farmhouse-themed home? 

When we first moved in to our 2 - storey home, it was just 40% completed with its building foundations laid and concretes poured and cured, the roofing newly installed. The walls were unpainted, roughly finished, the CHBs (concrete hollow blocks) were exposed on the exteriors, the ribbed metal roofing emitted too much heat at day-time and sent cold chills at night-time for lack of a proper ceiling and insulation. The exposed beams made of timbers from our ceiling were a sight to see for birds that figured out they could make our unwalled 3-bedroom second floor their nesting habitat. Thus, the bird droppings on our floor! As a single-income family, it was not hard to explain why we had the audacity to move in to our first home after living on rental for five years.  We were a young couple building our young family and homeschooling our then four year-old daughter. We were excited to move in to our new but rugged home. 

There was this mysterious leaking pipe buried within a concrete wall from one side of our bathroom that annoyed us on a daily basis. Our cement-finish flooring would be sweaty from the water leak and we thought of masking it with a cheap linoleum that we purchased by the yard. We got what we paid for. It did not take long for our linoleum to give way to holes.  Water oozed out of the holes from the linoleum that made our floor slippery and accident prone. Yaiiiks! We then tried to resolve this by placing absorbent rugs to our hole-y linoleum floor. We patiently replaced these absorbent rugs at least 2X daily. For the next few months our water bill kept increasing which was a burden for a small family like ours. 

It felt like there's a ticking time bomb that's waiting to explode any minute in our new home. And unless we did something about it, it will keep haunting us anywhere we turned. The unseen leaking pipes buried in our concrete wall made us realize that indeed, cracks don't get smaller. In this case, the leaking would not abate and instead it got stronger by the hour because of too much water pressure. We were confronted by something that we cannot avoid any longer. 

In order to rectify the worsening situation, we dug deep into our pockets employed the help of a trusted neighbor handyman to blind-search the leaking pipes. He started the tedious masonry job of taking down one side of our bathroom wall, one pound of hammer-chisel at a time. After about four hours, the culprit was exposed. Buried in the concrete wall was one water pipe connector that was not sealed! Up to this day, our plumber contractor was nowhere to be found. 

We went to bed that day with a smile on our faces. We enjoyed our sacred tea time in the late evening and enumerated one by one the things that we're thankful to the Lord for - the unfinished house that we can finally call our home; the cold roof over our heads at night; the bugs that kept finding their way through the gaps between the hollow blocks; the very few number of family members that we felt safe to invite over. Thank God, Facebook was not yet a thing then! 

As we looked outside of our window, we gazed at the stars, our voices in a hush. We described how we wanted our home to be. Definitely not a Martha Stewart home though it would be nice if we can afford it. A home that welcomes and refreshes the tired souls with free-flowing coffee and tea because life is so much better with them. A home where we can teach our children the ways of the Lord and how to follow Him while we prepare them for the big life. Our first homeschooled daughter is on the 3rd year of college now and I appreciate how she describes authenticity as not trying to be something that you are not. That's basically the sentiment. We want a house like no other. A house that reflects our imperfectly rugged joyful life as we completed each element through the years.

What's wrong with this house? That is not hard to answer. Kadami! We worked around the construction mistakes that we've had over the first few years here. We've learned to practice the art of contentment by using what we have and made it work for us. We were able to teach the virtue of patience to our own children by living it out on a daily basis. For example, our daughter had to wait in order for us to have a fully-painted house. She was already 9 years old around this time and old enough to grasp the concept of waiting. In the end, her prayers were answered, to have her own room painted in baby pink.

Somehow, things started to fall into their rightful places as our home developed its own character. It has aged well as it looked older than its actual age. And in case I haven't mentioned yet, we only invited our safe people to come over to our home. Those who love us for who we are; those who won't criticize our style choices; those who are like-minded people that are pleasant to be with; those who won't judge us; and those who, like us, thrive in mutual respect. 

We've also learned to practice the art of hospitality. Besides our own family circle, we mindfully thought of our unknown people, those we haven't met yet. We became more intentional in creating pocket spaces and large dining tables with literally enough elbow rooms for communing together. Along the way, we've learned how to joyfully serve as we make room for more. But this is for another blog entry on this series, What's Wrong With This House? Lord-willing? Thank you for dropping by.

"Unless the LORD builds the house,

They who build it labor in vain;

Unless the LORD guards a city,

The watchman stays awake in vain.

2 

It is futile for you to rise up early,

To stay up late,

To eat the bread of painful labor;

This is how He gives to His beloved sleep." 

Psalm 127:1-2 NASB

And Just like That! 17 Years of Rugged -JoyFull Homeschooling and Counting!

Beyond the physical and the online books that we provide our kids to learn, they watch our every step every day, they look for sincerity and authenticity as we model character to them as it happens organically at home since we’re always with them. As parents we become the curriculum for teaching character building to our kids. And this is what will stick with them for life. And since none of us is perfect, always allow room for mistakes and erasures. These too are integral part of their learning and once they’re older and wiser by God’s grace, they get to appreciate the entire journey with lots of sweet and precious memories to look back to. So, hold lightly. Have the grace to laugh at our own mistakes. I’d like to paraphrase Proverbs 31:25 which assures us that the woman who is clothed with strength and dignity can LAUGH without fear of the future.

Through 17 years of homeschooling, one more valuable lesson I’ve learned with my kids is the joy of homeschooling like no other. While we are created for relationships and we thrive in healthy connections, it is also very crucial to maintain and celebrate our uniqueness as a family as we engage with other beloved fellow homeschoolers. No two homeschoolers are exactly alike. So as we  walk alongside each other, learn from each other, care for one another, it is important that we remain authentic as a homeschool unit especially for a family like us who has the opportunity to live abroad as expats. I found this very crucial in helping them embrace their own identities as true-blooded Filipinos. This has spared them from identity confusion, a very common dilemma that is experienced by young people who migrate to a different country. Because of their awareness and appreciation for our ethnicity they can confidently communicate and interact with people of different ages and nationalities.  

Psalm 127:4 alludes our children to arrows in the hands of a warrior. As parents, we are privileged to be called by the Lord to raise His arrows to where He is leading them. The trajectory of our arrows are determined by the Lord Himself. Hopefully, our arrows will hit the mark set before them. We are the Lord’s stewards to the Lord’s next generation of mighty warriors. We are to guide them every step of the way. “Don’t you see that children are God’s best gift? the fruit of the womb his generous legacy? Like a warrior’s fistful of arrows are the children of a vigorous youth. Oh, how blessed are you parents, with your quivers full of children! Your enemies don’t stand a chance against you; you’ll sweep them right off your doorstep.” Psalm 127:3-5 The Message