(Note: If this is your first time on the blog, or have missed my first post about the topic on family bankruptcy, you may want to catch the story here for a little perspective.)
Who said that it's easy to share something about a story of family bankruptcy? Especially that of your own family? On the blogosphere? I mean, it's a lot easier to share only the note-worthy ones, the crisp and the glossy, and the filtered and the praise-worthy ones. But the messy and the stinky ones? The bloody ones? The ones that place you on a state of vulnerability? And haven't we been shoved enough social media drama on a daily basis? Keeping it REAL on our publicized world, admit it, is quite difficult. Because who would want to look stupid on the outside, to be judged, to be virtually mocked? No one.
But. There's a big BUT (to borrow my daughter's use of the word BUT as a conjunction on her other blog posts), in the light of eternity, it is always worth the risk and worth the try. Because you know that all along, you have the audience of ONE. Writing about it as you mindfully see it in God's eyes ultimately honors HIM and blesses HIM, and therefore, it blesses people, by HIS grace alone. It's His wonderful story wrought in you and now you are privileged to pen ( I mean figuratively speaking) so that through you, God's message of hope, love, and faithfulness will have a face and a flesh through you. And Dear Lord I hope it doesn't sound like another Christian cliché.
"...that the God who started this great work in (you) us would keep at it and bring it to a flourishing finish on the very day Christ Jesus appears." (Philippians 1:6 MSG)
Sometimes, in all His mystery and grandeur, God allows good people to suffer because there is a higher purpose for it; I mean, ordinary people like us, people who don't have criminal records, those who are tax-paying, law-abiding citizens, those who are compassionate, loving, and peaceful people. I couldn't agree more when I heard a pastor said that suffering when we see it in the light of eternity, from God's perspective, is a privilege. It is a privilege because we are given an opportunity to take part in the suffering of our Lord Jesus when He died on the cross for our sins. He is blameless and perfect yet He suffered on our behalf so that on believing in Him and His finished work on the cross, we may have eternal life. What an honor to be invited to become like Him because in suffering, God's character is hewn in us making us more like Him! Jesus Himself told His disciples "...If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross daily and follow me." (Luke 9:23 NLT)
I've learned from a parenting seminar I've attended not long ago that "we bond in our weakness." We easily connect with people who go through similar difficult situations we may be having. Our tendency is to effortlessly bond together as we empathize with each others' situation and respect each others' weaknesses. When we know that we are not alone, we are understood, and we are not judged, we are stronger. This was exactly what happened to us when we lost our cozy home from a bank loan. As siblings, we shared a certain kind of closeness. We had to move in to a much much smaller apartment just enough to fit in a few of our personal belongings. That wasn't the last move we've had in years following the very first. I do not want to count how many times we've had those moves but each time we felt the house getting smaller and smaller. Much like a fish swimming in the ocean and suddenly finding itself in a swimming pool, then it gets poured in to a bath tub, then in to a batya, then in to a pitcher, to a cup of water, and lastly, in to a test tube. Do you see the fish squirmish in its cramped test tube home?
So, I have a younger brother that came after me, six years my junior. Henri is a gifted singer and musician. He is good in carpentry and gardening. He's an adrenaline junkie, a man of the outdoors, a strong swimmer, a kayaker, and a hiker when he was younger. He has a witty sense of humor making him fun to be with. He became a follower of Jesus on his early teens. When our family business collapsed and tatay fell ill, he became a man in a young boy's body and he was suddenly entrusted with home repairs on behalf of tatay. He's a son of a mechanic, it came naturally for him to be our family handyman. There would be late evenings he'd come home from his work at a music school and I would catch him faintly strumming his acoustic guitar. Out in the dark singing a beautiful worship song to God. And those weren't without the sobs and tears. To us, he is not just a sibling but a loyal friend who's there for you. You'll never know what true riches are until you find a true friend who will stick with you through thick and thin. We were wealthy after all! When I got married, he and my husband became close buddies because they share similar and bizaare ideas! He's a cool uncle to my two kids and poured love on them when they were smaller.
Little Henri and me circa 1979. Another sibling must have taken the pain of watermarking my face with an "X" for copyright purposes.😉
Henri and Noah frolicking at a beach in Puerto Galera, year 2007.
Henri's thoughts if you please.😀
What I learned from bankruptcy; many of life’s learnings came out of that. Even until now. God humbled me. If not humiliated. I learned to trust God. To not be bitter or point finger on who’s who but to see what I could have done differently or contribute at that present time to help tatay and inay. Kami ni Nini, my youngest sibling, nahirapan kame maka graduate. But I learned to persevere, focus, and hope in God. As in hard-core-focus-on-God.
I learned to work hard. Before, money just comes in. But I learned to be self sufficient. Especially when we lost our home. I can speak for Nini that during that time, nobody cared from outside of our family circle. During that period which lasted several years (I think more than a decade) we had no home, no job, no father. Only God. In hind sight, i t was really Him that got us all through. It really was a humbling period. It felt that it would go on forever.
Faith, emotion, and sanity were tested to their limits. Even until now, the scars are visibly visible. But it's just a memorial of God's faithfulness. I learned to dream. Before, it felt like there was no need to dream because as a little boy then, everything was right in front of you. During college, of which I stopped for two full years ( took me 7 years to finish college), God taught me not to look down on people. To appreciate and love them as they are. God taught me to forgive and to carry light in the heart all misgivings given.
God taught me to fight in faith. I learned the value of actively waiting on Him. That period in life indeed, for me, was golden. Yes, you'd curse those years when you're in the middle of it, but I now have stories of faith and triumph that I can share with my future grandchildren. Looking back, and I always hold my emotions when I say this, those were my golden years. Sure it was more than a decade of agony, humiliation, waiting, hoping, famine, and hunger. But it's all worth it! God's grace is all worth it! It was one heck of a ride!
Inay and Henri's unico hijo, Henri Matthew, Matt for short, by the pristine Taal Lake in Batangas City, Philippines.
Lipa City home front family picture.
Melanie, "Che" for short, Henri's better half, is expecting a baby number 2. She takes good care of our aging eyes and I credit her for my signature (what's the name again?) 2-year old prescription glasses , fits like gloves, big lenses, just the way I want it. Thanks, Che. 😎
