This, I was asked by my boy one Sunday morning while we were enjoying our breakfast made from left-over food I salvaged from the fridge; yesterday's rice, diced spam, crunchy garlic and ground pork I patiently browned in salted butter and soy sauce and then almost always instinctively, I topped with sunny side eggs. Maybe I can call this our family's yang chow fried rice to be formal about it. I also made sure I prepared a mug of hot Milo beside each plate.
Anyway..."do boys always have to be older than girls, Mom?" I tried my best to not over-react as I cleared my throat and mentally composed a wise response to my son's question. Out of the blue, one random question, but I knew that this question was important to him. Deep inside I felt glad that my boy was able to voice out a question that may cause embarrassment for a 9 year-old like him to ask for fear of being laughed at or judged by a family member.
I fully understood that he asked it from the context of a boy-girl relationship in terms of their ages. I assumed that when he woke up that morning he was consumed by the thought of this kind of relationship where a girl is older than a boy, or perhaps he wondered, would there be any chance, for a boy like him who stands almost a foot lower than a girl that's 5 years his senior...she has long brown hair, smooth skin, clear eyes, sweet smile, sweet to him. My boy is having a major crush on a mestiza that happens to be his older sister's friend. My mama heart sunk - fast forward - this boy is someday leaving the house to get married. Will I be ready for that day?
"Do boys always have to be older than girls, Mom?"
"Well, not necessarily so. Because I have friends whose husbands or boyfriends are younger than them. One year, two years, five years... I have a friend who has a boyfriend that's 14 years her junior. Another friend of mine who's a teacher got married to one of her students in high school. Celebrities like Batangas governor, Vilma Santos is 11 years older than her husband, Ralph Recto; Kris Aquino and James Yap have over a decade age difference; Nanay Dionisia Pacquiao is more than 2 decades older than her boyfriend." I noticed that as I named each of these celebrities, his eyes gradually popped, his brows raised and his jaw dropped. He wore this funny but cute, innocent face.
And then jokingly I said, "don't you worry, five years from now, you'd be taller than your crush and by then you wouldn't feel awkward any longer standing next to her."
"So, what do you think is the right age for a boy or a girl to be in a romantic relationship?" Ha, now is my turn to ask my boy.
"I don't know," he replied shrugging his shoulders.
"I'm serious. What age do you think..."
"Fourteen...(long pause) Ha, ha... I'm just kidding...Fourteen. I'm serious."
I grimaced trying to look funny, "are you serious?"
"I am, Mom."
"So, you mean, you see yourself having a girlfriend five years from now?"
"Uh huh."
He stared at me waiting for my reaction.
"Ha, ha!!! Got ya, I was just kidding!!!"
I secretly felt relieved. Then our conversation went on for another half an hour or so talking about the future five years from now. And what if, what if, what if he actually finds himself in a relationship at that age?
"Would you and Dad allow me?"
I didn't answer "no" because I wanted to keep this interesting conversation going. I also knew that when our children liked the food that's served in front of them, a simple home-cooked meal, it doesn't even have to be fancy, they become vulnerable, and they tell you what's on their mind. So, I sat there, cunningly extracting some more personal information from them!
I was quickly reminded of the lengthy but enjoyable topic we had on Science a week ago. Our topic was about God's plan for order and how He desires order among His wonderful creations and what are the evidences that proved this. Certainly, there is a logical way of explaining Science as designed by the Lord, it is apologetics. Take the tiny vegetarian spider for one and its amazing web, how this insect creates its home, how intricate the design is, the details are evidences that God desired order in things. And how about the dung beetle that literally live and eat on dung and how it is able to create a tiny dung ball for food and rolls it on the dirt with its feet and arms upside down.
"Your father's role as the head of the family is to lead us in following our Lord Jesus and to work hard to provide for us. That is his job. My role as a mother is to cook yang chow for you and ensure that all four of us are eating healthy, besides home-educating you and your sister. That is my job. Your older sister, as a teener, and you as a tweener...(he giggled over the word "tweener" because he can't wait to become a teenager as he always said) your role is to prioritize your studies and do well at school - get educated so that when you become adults, you can live independently and be able to fend for yourselves, find a husband, find a wife, and have children of your own ( he giggled even more ) and be a blessing to other people. That is your job. Remember, there is a perfect time for everything and when we look at things based on God's design for order, it is easier to prioritize and focus on things that really do matter for the moment."
"Pass the yang chow fried rice, please."
