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Homeschooling for 9 Years: Lesson Number 2 of 3 - Comparing is a Joy-killer

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Lesson 1 of 3 - Homeschooling Is Not Easy
Lesson 2 of 3 - Comparing is a Joy-Killer
Lesson 3 of 3 - Micromanaging Equals Controlling
    
If we want to eliminate JOY in our daily lives, try COMPARING. Come. on. Who isn't guilty of this? And don't we have enough fertile breeding grounds to sow seeds of discontentment and insecurity with the presence of social networking sites on the internet? "Keeping up with the Joneses" ( or "keeping up with the Juans or the Lopezes or the De Chavezes" since we're Pinoys) and "the hay is always greener on the other side of the fence" are common idiomatic expressions which best describe a situation when a person is in a state of discontentment or insecurity. These words may sound subtle or harmless, but no matter how we sugar-coat them, the effects are debilitating, making one less productive or sulk in depression or loneliness, or just lose sight of his or her purpose in life.

As a homeschooling family, or let's just say as "humans," this is our reality; we're not immune from this kind of ordeal whether they're verbalized or quietly internalized. This is a trap that could easily get us entangled when we are not sure of our own identity as a family and when we're not sure of our main purpose for teaching our kids at home.  If we weren't sensitive enough, discontentment and insecurity would have gained foothold from the doorstep of our home and would have zapped us of our joy in teaching our children, would have made our vision blurry for the long haul, would have caused us burn-out in pursuing character building with them, and would have controlled our family as a whole. And we may have missed the whole point of why we chose to homeschool in the first place.
     
So, what has been our antidote to keep the joy-killer at bay? For there are days when it still hits you. One that has always worked, "fool-proof", road-tested for nine years? We just kept doing what we we're supposed to be doing. We kept going out, finding a need, and filling it. I believe this had helped to keep us grounded and fix our eyes on what truly mattered to us. We were so blessed to belong to a local church whose thrust is to reach out the under privileged and conduct regular feeding programs for the children in our community. I must say that getting intentionally involved in this kind of activity with our kids is like shooting three birds with one stone; teaching our kids to love the poor as Jesus did, making them sensitive to the needs of others and as a result, the virtue of thankfulness is also inculcated in them. 
     
We try to adapt a lifestyle that is best suited to the uniqueness of our family. Then we cultivate what's really working well for us. One that is achievable and sustainable since we're a one-income family. We tried to be realistic in terms of planning a trip with our kids where we staycationed a lot! We were also careful in buying expensive toys for our kids. For example, we don't go to the malls often as this would cause anxiety to our children especially at toy stores. And if we happen to be at a mall, we try not to walk by the toy shops to avoid the unlikely. You know when they would roll on the floor like a demon-possessed just to make you buy the toy they drooled to have! We did this when they were toddlers.We only bought new toys during Christmas holiday season. But they have generous Ninongs and Ninangs that would randomly give them gifts throughout the year, so, they're not really deprived.

We try to be more focused on who we really are. What our calling is as a family. Who our CALLER is, we stick to His words. I mean, we stick hard to His words. So, really, the lessons we've learned with comparing and how we dealt with it in our own home were more of practical and the application of common sense. For example, our family loved reading. And there are thousands of homeschooling resources where we can glean from the world-wide-web for free. So, before we allow ourselves to pour into something, we ask these questions first; is this book, magazine, blogspot, website, Facebook page causing discontentment in us? is the content self-centered or "me-focused?" If the answer to any of these two questions is a "yes", then we don't subscribe to it. We drop it. 

Then when all else fail, here is a worthy piece of advice reminder I'd like to propose for there are no two homeschooling families that are exactly alike. Stop. comparing. Now, go out. Create your own enviable life! Wink. Wink. So, tomorrow? Lord-willing? The third and last important lesson in nine years.

Lesson 1 of 3 - Homeschooling Is Not Easy
Lesson 2 of 3 - Comparing is a Joy-Killer
Lesson 3 of 3 - Micromanaging Equals Controlling

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