Lesson 1 of 3 - Homeschooling Is Not Easy
Lesson 2 of 3 - Comparing is a Joy-Killer
Lesson 3 of 3 - Micromanaging Equals Controlling
Lesson 3 of 3 - Micromanaging Equals Controlling
To be able to homeschool in the Philippines since 2005 up to present and counting is one thing. But to be able to stay on that mode of thriving and not just surviving? That is another thing, truly amazing grace. I feel that we're a little richer now in that the wisdom we've accumulated in learning from our own mistakes are priceless. Not that we've had everything figured out already, but those were humbling years, and even as of this writing, that hasn't changed a bit. And while I can comfortably say that I am not an expert in homeschooling, as we're still in the process of hacking it on a daily basis, our nine-year journey has taught us invaluable lessons in life that are worth far more than rubies and diamonds and gold.
I promise you, for sure, we've learned more than just three life-lessons in this homeschool journey, some embarrassing ones, but for now, let me just focus on these three and I recap those two most important lessons that I've covered last week.
Lesson Number 1 - That homeschooling is not easy.
On our first years, we were in for hard work as we took the responsibility of teaching our children academically. We dug deep into their curriculum. And it was actually coupled by heart work as we faced our reality; that educating our children does not just involve teaching them the academics but most especially their character. Our patience was put to the test. That's why I describe these years our "fidgety years."
When you're in the Philippines, resources like books are pricier for obvious reason that they are bought from the US. The rate of our tuition fees are competitive with those in conventional schools. Therefore, to homeschool here comes with a price. It is costly in relation to the income of one family say, for a one-income working-class family like us, it is costly. And when you're based in the province, a support group or a co-op is not readily available as most homeschooling families are Manila-based. But hey, we started picking up by God's mercy on the following years. And things started falling into place. We've developed a lifestyle built around our homeschool activities.
Lesson Number 2 - That comparing is a joy-killer in homeschooling.
When you're in the Philippines, resources like books are pricier for obvious reason that they are bought from the US. The rate of our tuition fees are competitive with those in conventional schools. Therefore, to homeschool here comes with a price. It is costly in relation to the income of one family say, for a one-income working-class family like us, it is costly. And when you're based in the province, a support group or a co-op is not readily available as most homeschooling families are Manila-based. But hey, we started picking up by God's mercy on the following years. And things started falling into place. We've developed a lifestyle built around our homeschool activities.
Lesson Number 2 - That comparing is a joy-killer in homeschooling.
To avoid comparing yourself with other homeschooling families, I have enumerated a few insights that I thought helped us deal with this kind of joy-killer:
- Keep doing what you're supposed to be doing. In our case, we applied the principle "find a need and fill it." We got actively involved at our local church programs like helping the poor kids in our community, feeding them on a regular basis. This had helped to keep us grounded and to really focus on what really mattered to us as a family. Our children learned not to be selfish, how to care for the needy, and be thankful for what we already have.
- We adapted a lifestyle that is sustainable and realistic. We staycationed a lot because of its affordability and because we also wanted to help the local tourism sector in our own little way.
- We tried to focus on our uniqueness as a family and relied on God's word for the assurance of "who" we really are in His eyes. You see, when our eyes are obliterated by what we see others are having, we lose sight of our own vision, our purpose in life, our true value in the eyes of God.
- We gleaned on the internet for tons of resources we needed for homeschooling our kids. But we apply utmost discretion on what gets to be read by our family. We don't read homeschooling blogs or magazines or FB pages when we feel that they're causing discontent or jealousy in us no matter how well-meaning the contents may be. So, really, common sense is put to good use when we are discrete in choosing what we feed our eyes, thus, sparing us of the trouble.
Lesson Number 3 - That micromanaging equals controlling.
For today's blog entry, let me circle this three-part series by giving you the third important lesson we've learned from homeschooling which is about letting go of micromanagement. What is micromanagement? I'd like to offer three kinds of definitions here.
Merriam-Webster's Online Dictionary defines micromanagement as "manage[ment] especially with excessive control or attention on details".
The online dictionary Dictionary.com defines micromanagement as "manage[ment] or control with excessive attention to minor details".
Encarta defined micromanagement as "attention to small details in management: control [of] a person or a situation by paying extreme attention to small details".
( Thank you, Google! )
Notice how the words "excessive," "extreme," and "control" were liberally used to define and describe what micromanagement is. And I used to believe that this word is only used in the business world! But hasn't this Momma unknowingly transformed their homeschool into a home enterprise of some sort? This used to be US. This used to be ME. The Mom whose sincerest desire was to teach her children, to raise them up to become adults with character and to shepherd them to come to know the Lord Jesus. She must be afraid of failure, afraid of damaging the future of her own children, afraid of criticism, afraid of not being able to measure up to a certain standard, afraid of a thousand other labels which she tried to shrug off her shoulders as she toiled to straighten up and put things in order.
So, what was The Mom's antidote to counter the gnawing effects of micromanaging her kids at home? The Mom finally learned to admit, she can't keep micromanaging THE home because micromanaging equals controlling. And control is not of the Lord. Control means that you trust yourself to be in-charge and not Him. Control is one's attempt to dethrone the Lord from the position where He should be. Control is the refusal to trust Him for the future, to make light of His power as KING over e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g. Even the nitty-gritty of daily life. HE sees. HE knows. HE cares.
Let me paint sporadic scenarios for you. And our learnings, our reality, in green and italicized words.
- Keeping the toilet bowl dry and spotless at all times, no falling hairs in sight, just speak-and-span and I've got kids who were only 6 and 1?
Leaving the toilet bowl wet and a little stinky at the end of the day made my kids understand the value of maintaining cleanliness at home. I purposefully left the CR status quo and the kids couldn't stand it because they loved the smell of a clean and sanitized toilet. So, little by little, and not overnight though ( ! ), they learned to flush the toilet on their own after each use and to pick up after their own litters on the CR floor.
- Staying in the lines blue down to blue, red down to red, penmanship exercises people! and no smudges, too!
So what if The Son, a second grade, is a little sloppy on his penmanship and isn't ready for cursive writing? He actually abhorred penmanship exercises. So, I don't push him into doing it. Besides, he has other skills that he learned so well in advance like creating his own 3D robots made of cartons, ha! Leave alone that cursive penmanship exercises and let the kid enjoy the whole afternoon creating robots in his lab.
- Books needed to be arranged according to their sizes and thickness and if time permitted in A-B-C order!
We've learned to accept the fact that books were meant to be shuffled and beaten up every now and then because they were meant for that purpose, to be explored and devoured by young learners. No more fussing over unreturned books to their assigned shelves, hold on to what truly matters more, that the kids are reading, and they are loving every minute of it.
- Do the dishes right after every meal.
Let the dirty dishes pile up and soak in soapy water in the kitchen sink. Goofing around for a few minutes at the table with your family before going back to school in the afternoon is more precious than getting the dishes done right away, that can wait, the FUN can't. Capture the moment. Create memories with our children while we can.
- And they've been "hurried" a lot because of the overwhelming and unrealistic goals we've set for the school year, lest we fail to deliver at the right time.
When setting goals at the start of a school year, it is best to stick to what is realizable for your family. Keep it simple. Do not bombard the calendar with a lot of planned activities that will bring too much exhaustion to the family. We were guilty of this a long time ago and we have no plans of returning to that old path again. It is best to identify just a few key concepts to tackle for a day because our kids retain more information in that manner.
It was on our nth year of homeschooling that we learned to loosen up and take things in stride. We have aged I suppose? There is nothing like coming to a decision to allow yourself to graduate from micromanaging your kids and your home so that you can attend to things that truly matter to you. Life is sweet. And we can laugh at the days to come.
Lesson 1 of 3 - Homeschooling Is Not Easy
Lesson 2 of 3 - Comparing is a Joy-Killer
Lesson 3 of 3 - Micromanaging Equals Controlling
Lesson 3 of 3 - Micromanaging Equals Controlling
