Every family is unique and has their own rhythm to follow. There is no such thing as a one-size-fits-all approach when it comes to raising a family and building strong, independent individuals.
For us, our agreement was simple. We chose the traditional path of a single-income household so that one parent—moi—could stay behind to care for the kids. Plus, we didn’t have to hire extra help to run our household affairs because I covered all those things. Talk about a full-time job! But more than just managing a home, this setup was about protecting our freedom to choose what worked for us. I believe every woman and mother deserves the space to do the same; not having to ask permission, completely free from the dictates of any third-party voice.
My husband and I were both committed to maintaining complete transparency in every area of our lives—especially when it came to money. I was fully aware that my responsibility was to ensure we stuck to our modest budget from paycheck to paycheck. As the Tagalog saying goes, “higpit-sinturon”—we had to practice frugality and contentment. For us, frugality wasn't about deprivation; it was just about being intentional, making sure every hard-earned peso went exactly where it was needed most. And contentment simply meant finding peace in what we had right then.
Take our kids' clothes, for example. When they were young and growing one size bigger every quarter, we would head to our favorite ukay-ukay for a big shopping spree to refresh their wardrobes. Not only did we save a lot of money, but it also introduced us to the culture of thrift-shopping until it became a normal thing for our family. We all loved it!
If I may just go on a little tangent here… it was about a year ago when my son went off to the University of the Philippines Los Baños to pursue chemical engineering. We were all so excited to see him settle into his new dormitory inside the sprawling campus, being on his own and enjoying his independence. In this new chapter of his life, he shared a video of him doing the ‘outfit check’ with his latest ukay haul in our family group chat. When we asked him why he went out of his way to shop at thrift stores when we actually gave him enough budget to buy brand-new outfits at the mall, his simple answer was that the ukays near UPLB have a treasure trove of shirts and jeans that perfectly match the aesthetic he was looking for. Talk about the thrill of the hunt! This young man was just replicating what he was trained to do all along. At that exact moment, my mama-heart was just so delighted to realize that my job was done.
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Going back to how we raised our family—over time, as our kids grew, we continued to pursue our dreams and ambitions, a journey that eventually led us to become OFWs (Overseas Filipino Workers).
Our setup was quite unique because my husband’s work schedule as an OFW was on a “28/28” rotation—28 days working abroad and 28 days back home in the Philippines with me and the kids during his break. Some people in the industry call it fly-in, fly-out, or FIFO for short. Because of this rotation, it only made sense that I stayed home with the kids, which gave me the wonderful opportunity to take on home-educating them myself. Every time my husband came home, we really made it a point to enjoy each other’s company. I had our calendar planned out as I scheduled everything around my husband’s 28/28 rotation. We took breaks to travel, explore interesting places, and try out new cafes. Back then, we followed what was called Viajes Del Sol (a Spanish phrase which translates to “Way of the Sun”)—a unique cultural map and curated travel route highlighting culture, art, and nature across Laguna, Batangas, and Quezon in South Luzon, run by its prominent local artists.
Living that way taught us a lot about intention, and that everything is time-bound which makes me think about how we live today, right here and now. The phrase “the days are long but the years are short” captures where we are now in our new season residing abroad in the UAE with my husband, while my adult kids are back in our home country fulfilling their God-given callings.
When I look back how we got here, while I completely understand that homeschooling is not for everyone, I still strongly believe that no matter our background, we women have the freedom to choose how we carve out our lives. We can go about our “business” without being dictated to by anyone—least of all by a celebrity influencer, if I may say so.
Consider it a ‘Tita’ reminder, first to myself and to my precious young mom here, who patiently read to the last paragraph of my love letter, that yes, it’s perfectly fine to be inspired by celebrity influencers and learn a good virtue or two from them. But at the end of the day, we still have our own freedom to create a life like no other. We deserve a life that is suited to our own financial realities and unique capabilities—a life that we can truly say we love, right here and now, not tomorrow. In other words, let’s be authentic and comfortable in the skin we’re in. Let’s be happy and content, right here and now. In case I haven’t said it enough.
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